What’s causing you to lose temper at work or life easily?|
A slow buildup of everyday annoyances: a dead car battery, traffic jam, buttons that pop off your clothes as you are going to an important meeting. It’s the little things that get under your skin...
Is it a tight schedule and seemingly insurmountable problems? Bills to pay, a boss to please, a colicky baby to pacify? Juggling many roles is a main cause of stress.
Maybe it’s positive and negative life changes, from the joy of a wedding to the loss of a spouse, from the exhilaration of a job promotion to sadness at moving away from old friends.
Perhaps the cause of your anger and stress is inner conflict. Anger with your boss actually may be old anger against a parent bubbling to the surface. If you can recognize a pattern from the past, this can be an instant stress reliever. Take some time, even just 30 seconds and write down your feelings.
What you need to do is relax.
Huh? It can’t be that simple!
Yes, it can and you can do it.
No, we can’t control other people and situations. What you can do is control how you respond to people and events.
What you have done is to give away control to others. What you need to do is regain that control, seal it up and only let the twins out when it’s really necessary.
When was the last time you actually relaxed? Can you remember what it was like? Were you calm and collected? Was your breathing normal? Were your muscles loose?
And, did you feel that way without any outside stimulants like drugs? If so, the good news is that you can restore that same feeling at will. Yes, you can definitely take it back whenever or wherever you choose.
When your mind is bypassing the chemical twins and sending truly relaxing messages to your body, wonderful things begin to happen. Just as the chemical twins jump to attention when you stress, other chemicals go to work when you relax causing you to have a feeling of contentment.
While relaxing, actions taken by people and external events are still important but not necessarily personal. You are able to discern that no one is launching a direct attack upon you or anyone or anything of yours.
Small problems will remain small problems and not the woolly mammoth charging down upon you. Large events will become smaller and not cause you to get out of your car during gridlock and shout obscenities to the drivers in front of you.
Those people who are horrible and annoying, shrink to a caricature serving up no more significance in your world than an ant on a picnic table.
As you continue your journey toward relaxation, you can watch these people with amusement. When you reach the point of total relaxation you are able to see your world as it is, not for how you feel about it.
Everything you do is a matter of choice. You choose to be angry, happy or indifferent.
You make a conscious choice to take action or not to take action.
On the opposite end of the spectrum are the chemical twins controlling what you know is stress and you are bumped, pushed and thrown into chaos. No choice and no idea why you don’t have a choice.
Obviously, relaxing is a good thing because it gives you choice. It puts you back in the driver's seat instead of the chemical twins.
So relax already! Sure, just like that.
Once you can program your mind to relax no matter what kind of situations you find yourself in, you will be able to easily deal with your anger and even stop getting angry easily over small things or even losing your temper easily.
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